sleep. someone just come and give me a cuddle please? feel too alone right now. i hate nightmares too. they alway appear and badly when i am upset. had no one to talk to or message or text or call in the night to say i was scared and i have to deal with that now.

because i can not do this. it hurts so damn much i just wanted sleep before work because my head is so full of crapi don’t even want to think about but i can’t even do that. not because its too busy but also because some fucking idiot is letting off something that sounds like fireworks out side. love can do one, im never falling for its ways again, not if this is how it feels after it being the most amazing feeling in the world. so scared and so hurt and so upset. i just don’t know what to do with myself. i even find myself spooning a pillow because all i want is a hug. i just want a hug and some sleep and to wake up and this all be gone and never here.

tried to sleep but my head is too full of crap. just cant get an unbusy head it seems. i am not built for this.

my pillow because i just need a damn hug of someone. too sad.